My opening sounds like one of those html classes where one first learns to create their own webpage and doesn’t know what to write, huh? LOL! Random, I know.
Nevertheless, today I am sitting here (at this moment) with this urge to write. Part of me is probably procrastinating and I have some work to finish, but that’s when I seem to write best… ha ha. I realized a few days ago that I haven’t really sat down to write in a long time and I’ve really missed it. This is partially because I haven’t quite figured out how, exactly, to keep the professional and the personal separate. I’ve heard from different people to “maintain your image and brand”, yet most of the time, others say to be yourself. My view is that people should be who they are and not someone else. If you’re not wanted the way you are, then you are, therefore, living someone else’s life. Period. (That said, I am not suggesting you should go and do something irrational…or whatever you want.)
Today I almost fell into the trap of taking someone’s advice with a heavier piece of salt than I wanted to — phew, averted that! Here’s the thing about living in a bigger city: people are more opinionated and more assertive when sharing their opinions, so it is easy to fall into the trap of making their opinions your own. Oh, the irony of this paragraph! (Not saying I’m a strong writer or anything… I’m just happy that someone is interested in what I have to say. Random thought — when my kids are my age, what will they think of my posts? Who knows!) I’m probably just saying that when you humble yourself and thirst to learn, everything that others say to you, can easily become something you may consider adopting… but just be careful.
There’s that bible verse that goes… “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” – James 1:19
So for an update:
Life has been incredibly busy. The term busy is definitely overused. Sometimes even used as an exaggeration of reality. One’s opinion of their “busy-ness” is highly subjective. Regardless, I’ll say that I’ve been pre-occupied by other things that have not allowed me to write more. My weekly/daily life is pretty much comprised of work, more work, cooking, sleeping, personal hygiene. (Ok, a bit personal!) On the side, I stay sane by going to church (Haven’t been as diligent lately, but it’s hitting me and I promise to head back. Thanks to my accountability buddies.), seeing friends on weekends, having team socials, and just letting my mind rest. A few things I’d like to do: sleep more, read more, work out, learn something new, and something else awesome — it’s coming, I can feel it! WHEN it happens, I’ll SHARE.
I got sick twice in the last 5 months! That’s really bad. I need to balance more and I’m working on it. Promise!
I’m living in a city where I know quite a few people, but they come and go. I’m seeking a true community and still searching. My support network is awesome, but on a global scale. I have my regular friends that keep me sane and remind me to be true to myself, then I have others around me that show me different sides of life. It’s all great. I just need to remember to be my own person 🙂
The holiday season is coming soon, so I am ultra excited! We’ve got lights up and my room is clean. Independent life is starting to feel more real — just like the other day, I realized that I am no longer afraid of much. I can just pick up and leave, and do something on my own. Liberating, huh? To be honest, sometimes it can be lonely too. (I’m sure you’ve watched all those videos about social media making people actually more lonely… you shared it on FB because you know it’s true.)
This Christmas and in the new year, I challenge you to break down barriers. Any kind of barrier around you. Are you afraid of speaking to someone because you don’t know what they’ll say? Just do it! Are you afraid of mixing groups of friends? Try it and see what happens! Do you feel like you’re filtering everything you say in fear of what others will think of you? Why are you doing that? If you are someone who has a genuine heart, a kind spirit, and that urge to always want to do better and become a better person, then what’s the hurt in TRYING? If anything, it’ll shape you.
This is starting to feel like one of those “coming of age” posts or me lecturing. I’ll stop boring you. (I was called a “mom” today. What if I never have kids since everyone calls me mom already?! Meh, I don’t know. God’s got a plan for me — “…for hope and a future.” And I’m excited to see what that is.)
Thanks for reading these past 800 words. Time to get back to some real work! Look forward to some new posts in 2014. There’s a bunch of reflection and sharing that I have on my mind. Either that, or enjoy my Chinese practicing posts 🙂